Dear Holly Jean,
I have been married 3 months now. My husband’s best friend from Hong Kong is now staying with us for 3 weeks. His best friend is single and average looking.
When my husband is at work and his friend did not go out, I feel very uncomfortable being at home with him. He looks at me in a horny way.
I've been ignoring it. But yesterday, he hit on me! He said he wanted to "see me" and wants to call me even when he goes back to Hong Kong.
I told my husband, but he doesn't believe me. He thinks I made it up because I am jealous of their close friendship.
What should I do?
Regards,
Mj.
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Dear Mj,
First… are you sure he was hitting on you? Could you have misunderstood his intentions?
If you are very sure he was hitting on you and not just being friendly, you did the right thing by telling your husband. I find it very hurtful that he did not believe you. (Men!)
Since his friend is still staying at your place, maybe you could set up a hidden camera and try to record the friend trying to flirt with you. That way your husband will see that you’re not making things up!
Alternatively, you can just hit the nail on the head and tell the friend that you do not want to see him or talk to him unless it is in the presence of your husband. Be polite, but firm.
The good thing is, he lives in Hong Kong so in a couple of weeks from now, he’ll hopefully cease to be a problem (for a while!).
Good luck,
Forever,
Holly Jean.
Hidden camera? Really? There are other, more mature ways to handle this.
ReplyDeleteI like your other suggestions much more:
Talking to the husband, regardless of how high up his backside his head is - a definite yes.
Talking to the pervy little man to tell him how uncomfortable his advances are making you feel - another definite yes.
This whole thing about how a girl feels uncomfortable when a man looks at her in a horny way (hur hur.. sorry, can't help it.).. I do wonder if it's borne out of the girl not being particularly assured of her looks (so she gets uncomfortable when a man looks at her?), or genuine fear for her physical safety? Cos I really do think that some girls are more prone to this than others. I mean, yes, if the guy looks like he's gonna pin you down and hurt you, then you're entitled to feel uncomfortable. But if a guy is looking and doing little else, no matter how horny he looks, so what? Just ignore the bugger. And if it's really bothering you, wrap yourself up in a thick duvet, making sure every inch of your skin is covered, so that it becomes damn obvious that you don't like him looking at you.
Going back to the video thing, I really hate how when something bad happens or a person feels victimised in one way or another, the first instinct is to whip out the camera. I mean seriously, does no one talk anymore? I blame Stomp, mobile phone companies and CSI. Why CSI? Because it makes playing detective and gathering 'evidence' look so darn appealing.
Just bang him and your husband. In fact, invite a few of your girlfriends along!They will both love you more for it.
ReplyDeleteJimbo you're on a good thing there nothing could bring 2 good mates closer!!! And Holly that's a great idea get a video camera in on the action, so we can all take peek!!
ReplyDeletegeez u boys and ur notty thoughts! I agree the video cam bit is taking a step too far but hj's other suggestion of firmly telling him and making her stand known is wise. Maybe the fella is just being cheeky but she shdnt show fear or back out. Just show him she knows what he s up to and having none of it - that shd put him back to his plc.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes do make sure first that he s really hitting on her and not just being friendly. Honestly being women sucks somtimes, we have to deal with these crap. Gd luck.
Just sleep with him to prove a point to the husband: He trusts his "good friend" way too much! haha... just kidding. Too bad the freind is just average looking huh.
ReplyDelete