Ok listen up boys. I'm going to tell you things you should know about women.
There are certain simple things in life you can do to really float our boat… and yet some of the most insignificant actions (in your mind) would sink it.
1. When we tell you our problems, we do not expect you to fix them. We just want you to listen.
2. It’s cheating as soon as you’re doing something you wouldn’t want us to catch you doing.
3. When we ask questions we already know the answers to. We're not trying to trap you, we want to give you a chance to come clean.
4. We don’t like hairy backs. Shave it, wax it, whatever… but don’t shave your chest… or legs.
5. While standing in a queue somewhere, kiss us on the back of our shoulders or neck.... I think this works magic (and it sure makes waiting a whole lot better!)
6. Don’t talk about the porn you've watched/ girls you've shagged.. (even though we ask you about that, we don't actually want to know... I don't know why we ask really, we just do unexplainable things like that some times)
7. We find you sexy when you’re driving, fixing things, working out, playing an instrument (well), and concentrating on a task.
8. We aren’t as obsessed with your size as you are. (No matter what your size, your tongue my friend, is indispensable!)
9. Women can take care of themselves, but it’s sweet when you’re protective over us. Small things like calling to make sure we made it home safely goes a long way. (That’s also why we pretend we can’t open the jar, so you can demonstrate how you are able to take care of us.)
10. Yes we throw an odd tantrum or two from time to time. But if you cant handle us at our worst then you don't deserve us at our best.
Girls… what do you think? Is it true?
I totally agree with you, holly.. Especially the old tantrum part. I find nothing wrong with girls whining and if the guys can't take it, then he is not the one who can handle us during pregnancy because we will be a lot worse! Ha!
ReplyDeleteHollyJean,
ReplyDeleteVery informative.
I am lucky in that my Asian wife does not mind body hair.
Otherwise I would have spent a fortune over the years removing hair from my back.
Being of Europena heritage I have body hair. Apparently it migrated down from my head which now has very little hair.
Regarding #8. I have read a couple blogs from SG and Malayasia from female bloggers concerned about really small male size.
David
spot on!!!!!!
ReplyDeletemy sentiments exactly :D
hi holly,
ReplyDeletei love this post.
speaks my exact sentiments.
i love the last part, "if you cant handle me at my worst, you sure dont deserve me at my best."
thanks for sharing dear.
Agree with David on this. I've read about women talking about male size.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the average anyway? LoL I guess its bout how you perform and what you do with your TONGUE.
A
amen... thank you for summarizing this up. i'll be printing this out as reference for the next bf. the ex failed to comprehend too many of these. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteHi holly, may I know the name of the hotel you stayed at during your bali trip earlier this year? Also, did you pay for the room yourself or did the bride paid for all the guest's?
ReplyDeleteCommon sense, isn't it, all this?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, in response, here's a list of 10 things girls should know about men:
1. Yes, we understand sometimes you need to ventilate. But sometimes it's just plain boring to sit and listen and not contribute more than the occasional "oh no, that's awful. I'm so sorry you had to go through that" or "oh my god, she IS a bitch." So if you really must ventilate, time it well. Like when we're sleeping.
2. If doing something we wouldn't want you to catch us doing is cheating, then we're all cheaters a gazillion times over. Seriously, there are just so many things we do that you wouldn't want to know about. That's why God did not give women mind-reading powers. Oh look at that, I just popped open a can of hot, sexy worms.
3. We appreciate the direct route. So if you want to find out if we think the waitress is hotter than you, ask us. That way we can lie better.
4. We don't like hairy backs either.
5. We have nothing smart to say about this because we love this as much as you do. Well, some of us anyway.
6. So don't ask. Because we don't want to tell you that we were just watching porn this morning while on the way to work. Yes, even me, the bf/husband who crosses my heart, swears to God and tells you with complete sincerity that I don't watch porn. Yet I know who Maria Ozawa is. (Oh shit, I think I just cheated.)
7. We find you sexy when you're not doing 1,3 and 6.
8. We are happy you say that but our obsession with size is not for you, it's for us.
9. We love taking care of girls we love. So if we do it without you asking us, it says something. If we don't do it without you asking us, it says that other thing.
10. There's nothing more we love than being at the receiving end of hissyfits and nagging. Because it gives us an excuse to fantasise about other women without feeling guilty about it. So please ma'am, can I have some more?
Pinch of salt. Pinch of salt. Pinch of salt.
haha.. saiful. fucking hilarious.
ReplyDeletecan i use this on the main blog? as a response to my original post?
will credit ur blog.
Glad you enjoyed it. And sure, spread the love, by all means. Anything to educate the masses. Hur hur.. :)
ReplyDelete