Some people wonder if SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) life is for them, and while some take to it like a duck to water, I'm sure that for many, it's a rude shock to the system. Haha. Perhaps it's because it's really not glamorous, or relaxing as many assume it is.
So here's a peek into a typical 24 hour cycle. Right now, Adamson is away for 2 weeks Reservist, so the only difference is that the kids are missing seeing him before he gets ready for work in the morning, and having him (after work) join them for the later part of their evening wind down time in their playroom. Other than that, load wise, it's pretty much the same cycle for me.
Here's the peek-
He will nap for 1 and a half hours usually. And during this time, I do the laundry, mop the floor, do dinner prep if we are having home food for dinner (but I skipped that today because Adamson is away for Reservist, and I rather just order food delivery for myself), prep the kids dinner. If I have time after that, I make a quick lunch for myself and eat it. If not, then I eat chocolate or something fast.
1.30pm (approx), MJ wakes, and he gets milk. Then I have to entertain him, try to teach him stuff and play with him.
3pm, I pack stuff to bring out (today it is swimming stuff - toys, robes, swim wear etc), other days it's cutlery/bowls/hats if we are going to walk to Myla's nursery to pick her up and go to the mall for groceries and also dinner treat outside for the kids.
3.30pm, Myla gets off school bus and we all go to the pool. It's usually just for a short while (30mins) so they can play outdoors and enjoy the water.
4.20pm, we load up the stroller, and head home.
I give Myla a quick shower while MJ sits in the stroller. Or sometimes I put them both in the bath tub together (but this usually takes more time cos they play in the bath tub. It's much quicker if I just shower Myla and then it's Mj's turn for a quick bath). I have a dinner crunch time to meet (they usually eat by 4.30pm but on pool days, it will be a bit later).
By the way, I don't get to shower after the pool ah. I stay in my damp chlorine clothes cos there's still more stuff to settle for the kids. It's not like oh hey yayyy fun time swimming with the kids and then nice shower afterwards. lol. It's more like watch 2 very young children like a hawk while they are both in the water at the same time, and then crunch time to get them home and showered and fed.
Great thing is, Myla has always been very receptive of food. Any food. Since she was a baby. So yeah, I just give her the food and she will happily sit there and eat. And now that she's 3, there's not much supervision required on my part at all. Which is great cos I have to feed MJ anyway.
He is MUCH LESS receptive. And I've been changing the menu and offering all kinds of food, hoping he will love something, but nah. Even if he does like something and eat it today, the next time I offer it to him again, he will probably hate it -_- . Tried baby led weaning, spoon feeding, whatever trick in the book. He clamps his mouth shut. This week is especially bad, I think because he's teething. But he's growing fine though, within the 75th percentile weight and above for his height. I'm TRYING not to stress about his lack of solids but it's hard not to. Especially when I compare to how Myla took to solids so easily. So yeah, MJ meal times is frustrating and involves a lot of clean up after.
After Myla finishes dinner, she will tidy the playroom but sometimes I have to help her if it's too big a mess for her to manage. It gets quite messy when MJ is in there after his nap.
5pm Wind down time in Playroom.
Usually we do colouring, play blocks, 'cooking', Doctor game...
6pm Finally... I give MJ his evening bottle of milk. And Myla gets milk too in the evenings.
Then I brush their teeth and I put a diaper on Myla (otherwise she is diaper free and uses the potty during the day time) and change MJ's diaper and put both their Pajama pants on.
6.15pm I put MJ in his Cot. He will roll around for about 5 mins on his own and drift to sleep. I go wash the bottles and dishes and by the time I'm done, he's fast asleep. Life is actually SO MUCH easier now that he can sleep like this, when he was younger and before sleep training, he used to wake and scream cry every couple hours throughout the night and most times stay awake for an hour or two in the middle of the night. Those months were a blur for me because I was critically sleep deprived.
We have a holiday booked in September and I'm worried his sleep routine will be broken and all the hard work from sleep training will go to shit again. He sleeps very easily now, but only when the routine is there... meaning wind down, and also the bedroom and his cot. Familiar environment for him. he doesn't sleep well elsewhere. Sigh, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
6.30pm It's Myla's own time now, without MJ disturbing her lol. So I give her some writing practice (just one alphabet or number each night, nothing heavy), then we do her sticker book and play with stuff like dollhouse which she can't play with when MJ is in the playroom because he tries to eat the tiny parts or he likes to push down the dollhouse, making it impossible for her to play it for more than a minute haha.
7pm, I take Myla into the bedroom and lie with her for around 10 mins until she falls asleep.
6plus am the next day, it all starts again. MJ wakes first so I take him out of the bedroom and let Myla sleep a bit more. She usually wakes just after 7am.
7.30am Breakfast for the kids.
8am. MJ in playpen and Myla likes to help me prepare lunch (for herself and MJ).
We also prepare her snackbox to put into her schoolbag.
8.30am Once prep is done. they both get their shower and bath, and go into the playroom at around 9am.
I quickly have a shower while they're on their own. Have to be damn fast cos MJ likes to climb.
I love that I spend practically 24hrs around them and see to their every need. I even miss Myla while she's away for a few hours at Nursery haha. Playing with them and watching them learn and grow is the best feeling. But it is tiring. I hardly get any ME time, and I only get some Me Time to unwind at the end of the day when I have my dinner and watch TV but usually that's when I'm bloody exhausted already. And then a short sleep later, the whole cycle starts again.
Lots of people think SAHMs like me have a tai tai lifestyle having tea and naps in the afternoon. Or whole day shake legs and indulge in hobbies. But as you can see, it's not the case. Especially if you don't have a maid/help/nanny and you don't put your kids in childcare/infantcare... your day is really jam packed with seeing to the needs of your very young children and trying your best to keep up with the housework (and for me also keeping tabs on my draft deadlines because it takes me forever to write one article now) ... your own needs come last, if ever at all.
Another downside you might want to consider, is that it is very isolating. Most days, apart from my own kids, and my husband for a little while before he heads to work and at the end of the day.. the only other person's face I see is the school bus auntie.
But MJ is doing great, and I'm managing his preferences and routines well enough for him to be happy and contented. Myla is doing well too, and when I put her to bed each night, she hugs me and kisses me and tells me how much she loves me. My heart melts with each smile, each kiss, and hug. No sacrifice is too great.
If you're thinking of being a SAHM, don't expect it to be easy, and expect to feel like a slave sometimes... most of all be prepared for judging looks and opinions because people who don't do this don't really know the reality of this 'job'. But definitely do it. If your spouse can support the family financially and allow you that option of staying home to raise the kids, go for it! They're only children for a short span of their lives, they grow up so quickly.
So here's a peek into a typical 24 hour cycle. Right now, Adamson is away for 2 weeks Reservist, so the only difference is that the kids are missing seeing him before he gets ready for work in the morning, and having him (after work) join them for the later part of their evening wind down time in their playroom. Other than that, load wise, it's pretty much the same cycle for me.
Here's the peek-
11.30am Myla's School Bus picks her up. This time, Adamson took Myla down because he's going off for 2 weeks Reservist and Myla's feeling clingy and will miss him so she wanted him to take her down to the school bus. Usually I'll take her down, with MJ in stroller.
11.45am MJ nap. Takes about 15mins before he's down deep and I can leave the room to go do my stuff.He will nap for 1 and a half hours usually. And during this time, I do the laundry, mop the floor, do dinner prep if we are having home food for dinner (but I skipped that today because Adamson is away for Reservist, and I rather just order food delivery for myself), prep the kids dinner. If I have time after that, I make a quick lunch for myself and eat it. If not, then I eat chocolate or something fast.
1.30pm (approx), MJ wakes, and he gets milk. Then I have to entertain him, try to teach him stuff and play with him.
3pm, I pack stuff to bring out (today it is swimming stuff - toys, robes, swim wear etc), other days it's cutlery/bowls/hats if we are going to walk to Myla's nursery to pick her up and go to the mall for groceries and also dinner treat outside for the kids.
3.30pm, Myla gets off school bus and we all go to the pool. It's usually just for a short while (30mins) so they can play outdoors and enjoy the water.
4.20pm, we load up the stroller, and head home.
I give Myla a quick shower while MJ sits in the stroller. Or sometimes I put them both in the bath tub together (but this usually takes more time cos they play in the bath tub. It's much quicker if I just shower Myla and then it's Mj's turn for a quick bath). I have a dinner crunch time to meet (they usually eat by 4.30pm but on pool days, it will be a bit later).
By the way, I don't get to shower after the pool ah. I stay in my damp chlorine clothes cos there's still more stuff to settle for the kids. It's not like oh hey yayyy fun time swimming with the kids and then nice shower afterwards. lol. It's more like watch 2 very young children like a hawk while they are both in the water at the same time, and then crunch time to get them home and showered and fed.
Great thing is, Myla has always been very receptive of food. Any food. Since she was a baby. So yeah, I just give her the food and she will happily sit there and eat. And now that she's 3, there's not much supervision required on my part at all. Which is great cos I have to feed MJ anyway.
He is MUCH LESS receptive. And I've been changing the menu and offering all kinds of food, hoping he will love something, but nah. Even if he does like something and eat it today, the next time I offer it to him again, he will probably hate it -_- . Tried baby led weaning, spoon feeding, whatever trick in the book. He clamps his mouth shut. This week is especially bad, I think because he's teething. But he's growing fine though, within the 75th percentile weight and above for his height. I'm TRYING not to stress about his lack of solids but it's hard not to. Especially when I compare to how Myla took to solids so easily. So yeah, MJ meal times is frustrating and involves a lot of clean up after.
After Myla finishes dinner, she will tidy the playroom but sometimes I have to help her if it's too big a mess for her to manage. It gets quite messy when MJ is in there after his nap.
Usually we do colouring, play blocks, 'cooking', Doctor game...
Halfway through, there's a supper time snack. I'm just trying to fill their bellies for the long night sleep ahead. Thankfully, MJ doesn't refuse snack time when it's his favorite hot dog bun.
Myla is the one who gets to decide what we play. When MJ is older they can take turns deciding... but I hope they will still want to keep playing together when he's older. For now, he's very easy going and will play whatever his big sister chooses.6pm Finally... I give MJ his evening bottle of milk. And Myla gets milk too in the evenings.
Then I brush their teeth and I put a diaper on Myla (otherwise she is diaper free and uses the potty during the day time) and change MJ's diaper and put both their Pajama pants on.
6.15pm I put MJ in his Cot. He will roll around for about 5 mins on his own and drift to sleep. I go wash the bottles and dishes and by the time I'm done, he's fast asleep. Life is actually SO MUCH easier now that he can sleep like this, when he was younger and before sleep training, he used to wake and scream cry every couple hours throughout the night and most times stay awake for an hour or two in the middle of the night. Those months were a blur for me because I was critically sleep deprived.
We have a holiday booked in September and I'm worried his sleep routine will be broken and all the hard work from sleep training will go to shit again. He sleeps very easily now, but only when the routine is there... meaning wind down, and also the bedroom and his cot. Familiar environment for him. he doesn't sleep well elsewhere. Sigh, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
6.30pm It's Myla's own time now, without MJ disturbing her lol. So I give her some writing practice (just one alphabet or number each night, nothing heavy), then we do her sticker book and play with stuff like dollhouse which she can't play with when MJ is in the playroom because he tries to eat the tiny parts or he likes to push down the dollhouse, making it impossible for her to play it for more than a minute haha.
7pm, I take Myla into the bedroom and lie with her for around 10 mins until she falls asleep.
The rest of the evening I do the ironing, whatever housework is leftover from the afternoon (usually it's ok, don't have). I just monitor them both via our baby cam, just to be sure they're ok.
8 pm. Then I finally can shower. and eat my dinner. I really enjoy this part because it marks the end of my long ass day. After dinner, I'll do my drafts if deadlines are coming up, if not then I don't do any writing work and just continue watching TV (usually with Adamson, unless he's out or like now he's in camp for reservist).6plus am the next day, it all starts again. MJ wakes first so I take him out of the bedroom and let Myla sleep a bit more. She usually wakes just after 7am.
7.30am Breakfast for the kids.
8am. MJ in playpen and Myla likes to help me prepare lunch (for herself and MJ).
We also prepare her snackbox to put into her schoolbag.
8.30am Once prep is done. they both get their shower and bath, and go into the playroom at around 9am.
I quickly have a shower while they're on their own. Have to be damn fast cos MJ likes to climb.
10 am. Lunch is served. Yeah it's early but it's always been this schedule for Myla because dinner is around 4pm usually and then supper 5plus pm and bedtime between 6/7pm. So when MJ started solids, I put him on the same schedule since it works.
11 am, I change Myla into her school uniform. And 11.15am we head down with MJ in stroller.
MJ drinks his first morning milk while we're waiting for the bus, so that once we go back up, I can straightaway make him nap before he gets over tired. 11.30am School bus picks Myla up. And I head back upstairs with MJ.I love that I spend practically 24hrs around them and see to their every need. I even miss Myla while she's away for a few hours at Nursery haha. Playing with them and watching them learn and grow is the best feeling. But it is tiring. I hardly get any ME time, and I only get some Me Time to unwind at the end of the day when I have my dinner and watch TV but usually that's when I'm bloody exhausted already. And then a short sleep later, the whole cycle starts again.
Lots of people think SAHMs like me have a tai tai lifestyle having tea and naps in the afternoon. Or whole day shake legs and indulge in hobbies. But as you can see, it's not the case. Especially if you don't have a maid/help/nanny and you don't put your kids in childcare/infantcare... your day is really jam packed with seeing to the needs of your very young children and trying your best to keep up with the housework (and for me also keeping tabs on my draft deadlines because it takes me forever to write one article now) ... your own needs come last, if ever at all.
But MJ is doing great, and I'm managing his preferences and routines well enough for him to be happy and contented. Myla is doing well too, and when I put her to bed each night, she hugs me and kisses me and tells me how much she loves me. My heart melts with each smile, each kiss, and hug. No sacrifice is too great.
I’m so jealous!! Your mum life ends at 8+??? FTWM:
ReplyDelete6am get up, get ready for work, get Primary kid ready for school (cue sch refusal fights and struggles)
7.40am ordeal ends and I enjoy the ride to work in peace
8.30-6.30pm workday + calls from Primary kid blah blah
7.30pm reach home dinner check primary kid homework pack bag try hard to squeeze time to talk to 4yo. Try to bathe while helper entertains
9.30pm/10pm read books to kids pray Primary kid sleeps
10pm-12am milk supper for 4yo dilemma between hurrying 4yo to bed to have a proper sleep or spend time with her and watching her super funny antics
Actual sleep hours ~1am-6am in between both kids wake up once each.
I am so so so so so jealous.
Yah ends at 8pm Cos I believe in early bed time for the kids at this age. If I have my drafts to complete then it doesn’t end at 8pm as I can only do my work (part time) after the kids are in bed. MJ wakes at 3am approx for a milk feed. Other than that yah, after 8pm is not terribly taxing anymore (he used to wake every 2hrs before sleep training, so it’s much better now). :)
ReplyDeleteYou have a helper, count yourself lucky already ... imagine FTWM with no helpers omg